Saturday, July 3, 2010

Zzyzx (continued)

Dr. Springer neglected to mention what was in the cocktail. That wasn’t important. What was important was that it worked! A miracle straight from heaven.

There was also a do-it-yourself hemorrhoid cure kit. The kit could be purchased for a free-will donation of only $25. Of course, $25 then was equal to $250 or more now. A small price to pay for deliverance. Better to pay than suffer like poor old Job.

Jesus himself had provided Dr. Springer with the formula for his greatest remedy. At least that was the claim. “Mo-Hair,” which was a miraculous cure for baldness. For those who desired to be like Samson before he met Delilah, all that was necessary was to massage the tonic vigorously into the scalp. Then they were to bend over and hold their breath for as long as they could. When they stood up, they could literally see the effects of the miraculous potion – flushed cheeks and a tingling scalp. This in combination with the magic potion brought about the miracle. – abundant, luxurious hair.

The ways of the Lord were indeed mysterious.